jshartley.com

YOUR COMMENTS

Laryngitis is a sign that you should write and not speak don't you think. Never give up your writing, you are too good at it.
(Ian, UK - July 2011)

Does laryngitis mean you can't write blogs either? Hope you are well - get writing.
(David, UK - July 2011)

Hi Jen
When you mentioned the photo in the swimming magazine I couldn't resist googling ""jennifer hartley + swimming"" on the Net... and what do you know!
http://www.swimming.org/asa/clubs-and-members/introducing/
Almost makes me want to buy the magazine to read the full article!
Keep up the good work and the inspirational blog entries (I will go back to the pool one day.....)!
Cheers
(Liz, UK - July 2011)

Couldn`t stop giggling when I read the dog bit!! I had to try and explain it to Carys. You won't believe it but I'm actually typing this from your Mac having finally got it up and running with internet access after how many years?? so thank you thank you thank you, now the girls have a computer they can use when Scott is watching the footie on the laptop x
(McMandy, wet Wales - January 2011)

Love the story about the old man. Excellent. Why do you attract this into your life Dr J.? But do keep attracting it for our entertainment.
(Anthony, England - December 2010)

“Every end is a new beginning”
And if anyone is going to make a great new beginning it's you!
(Sean, Australia - November 2010)

You have touched and changed more lives than you know - now it's time to focus on yourself and chase your dreams.
(Ken, Singapore - November 2010)

Hello! Dr Jennifer
you are welcome Again to Uganda!
we appreciate so much for your work.
may God bless you say hi to your friends.
(Patrick, Uganda - September 2010)

I'm still reading. Nice to hear I'm not the only one. Strangely ,as a regular swimmer, I share your fears of the lack of control of the young and the old. This was recently heightened when the gym felt the need to remind people to shower before going into the pool as others didn't want to swim in their sweat - well at least it makes you swim faster!
(Neighbour of the Wise Ones, Scotland - May 2010)

Where are your blogs Jennifer? We are missing them and you!
(Bill, USA - March 2010)

Why isn't Jennifer writing more often. Has she got married and feels she cannot tell us? I can think of no other reason why she is not writing more. That would be the only thing that would keep her so occupied.
(Suzanne, Wales - March 2010)

Loving the idea of the glue sniffing carol singing ten year olds. And wondering if you have a death wish Jennifer - normal people would give them money and get rid of them as fast as humanely possible.
(Chris, UK - December 2009)

Where the wild things are is magical and YOU will love it because you regularly act like a badly behaved child Dr Hartley. So much for you to identify with.
(Joanne, England - December 2009)

Knowing how much interest and patience you have in the kitchen I imagine your toaster blowing up was due to what you may have tried to cook in it. Was it pasta? Perhaps soup? Or just a cup of tea. Love you honest :)
(Joe, UK - December 2009)

I can confirm that having Jennifer at a social event definitely ups the drama. Most recent events as described in the blog do not really do justice to the mayhem she leaves in her wake. Blogs are too short -- can't we have the twelve days of Christmas - Dr Hartley's thought for the day - guaranteeing a smile all day.
(Suzanne, Wales - December 2009)

Great blog but why so long between postings? If you can write from a refugee camp surely you can manage from the UK!
PS Spunky is a compliment where I come from.
(Dean, USA - September 2009)

In Caterpillar's defence it should be pointed out that Jennifer's point is to try - and try again. Which catrepillar did. Even though it continued to be unsuccessful - particularly with regards to the paper game. Could people please give me tips about that one. I did get the hang of 1,2,3. Until it went onto replacing numbers with noises. It's true that I found that tricky.
(Caterpillar, Wales - August 2009)

It's very common in Canada to complement someone by saying they have a lot of "spunk" ...so way to go there Jennifer.  I'm enjoying your blog very much.
(Jay, Canada - August 2009)

I feel a book or a play coming out of this. a fascinating read...
(Sherri, USA - August 2009)

I am worried for Africa. Do they know you are coming?
The surrounding countries I mean. Do they get the blog? Has anyone warned Joseph? Am I the only one praying?
(Mum - June 2009)

A friend told me I should start reading your blog and I did. I wanted to comment that it is very entertaining. I think you are unhinged but you are entertaining.
(Paul, USA - June 2009)

Do you come with a health and safety warning? Maybe you should. Hope the hand isn't broken but knowing you, what can I say.
(Nick, UK - June 2009)

I**A..... the store that really knows how to make a crisis out of a drama!
(Carol, UK - June 2009) 

What's happening with your invisible troupe and that store - all has gone quiet on the western front.
(John, Edinburgh - June 2009)

Well I don't know I go away for one week and all hell breaks loose !!!! Just caught up with all that's gone on. Glad we're not being disheartened.  I think it's a bit of a success on our part because IKEA couldn't see the point well of course they couldn't because we were invisible! That was the point....that they couldn't see. Triumph ! But alas they didn't see it that way so we're out on our ar***.But let's keep going and try somewhere else that would appreciate us if they could see us. Ha ha !
(Lyn, Cardiff - June 2009)

Keep the fat lady gagged! Loving the blog and the invisible drama.
(Rebecca, UK - June 2009)

Following the invisible theatre project and laughing so much. Have been involved in many an invisible project with DrJ, she was most notable by her ability to become invisible before anyone else and disappear especially when things started to go awry! Remember almost being arrested in a well known coffee shop, where all you cared about was finishing your latte? Or post 9-11 the great discussions we got going in the street and the stories people shared with us and how therapeutic it was? Or in a certain shop linked to a children’s theme park where a well-known mouse lost his cool and threatened us with a plastic sword? I could go on.
The point is invisible theatre is great and it works. It takes guts to do and a proper ensemble for it to work and it sounds like you have formed another great group. Don’t let them give up, I know you won't.
And for the record, Boal was and would be proud of all you do.
(Bill, USA - June 2009)

Perhaps we should send Pipi Longstocking in to 'that store' to sort them out. I am so disappointed to hear this project is over. May your invisibility reign, my Swedish brothers and sisters support you.
(Joanna, Sweden -  June 2009)

If Gordon can speak up so can I and the difference is I really care. Jennifer, as those wise ones told you, I am looking for future politicians and having heard of your plight with 'that' store, I would like to state for the official record you are welcome on my backbench anytime (you don't even have to assemble it). Most of my other MPs appear to embrace the concept of invisibility at parliamentary meetings so I feel we can offer you a fine home.
(David Cameron, UK - June 2009)

That store, who have wild and wacky ideas for adverts, who think outside the flat pack box, sadly can't get over the fact that the management are still filled with British reserve and fear the new.
Come on guys grow some Swedish meat balls!!!
(Nonvisible Member, Wales - June 2009)

Judging by our previous experiences, it would seem the best way to remain invisible is to have Caterpillar stand somewhere prominently holding a red card marked 'invisible'.... and involve a certain teenage actor who shall, for the moment, remain nameless...
Still grieving for the loss of the certain large department store... the opportunity seemed too wonderful to be true! We are going to have to be even more invisible the next time we venture out in public or face spending rather more time than we planned writing our memoirs in custody!
We WILL survive!
Ladybird
(Carol, UK - June 2009)

O mi god what happened next. Just got an email saying it's all off. Tell me more. Tell me your side of the story... I am busy but it's on my mind all the time. I know I have problems but I think yours are worse.
(Gordon Brown, UK - June 2009)

Caterpillar 'previously known as grasshopper' everyone knows to never tell Jennifer a plan in advance but everyone also knows she is the diva of all divas. The girl is a star so give her a bigger part or be prepared to do a lot of editing as she will be increasing her lines even if you don't. Good luck caterpillar I think you may need it.
(Nick - June 2009)

WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IN IKEA? You cant leave us hanging. Are you all in jail? Do you need a lawyer? Do you need bailed out? Are they letting you write your blog from your prison cell?
(Chris, USA - June 2009)

OMG What have you done in IKEA? Do you cause trouble everywhere you go Hartley?
(Bruce, USA - June 2009)

Hi jen - sorry I couldn't make weds - saw Suzanne at the Sherman this evening - she filled me in, not in a 'Glasgow' sense. . . . about IKEA and the cops etc. any way she pointed me to your blog - I liked the 'confession poem' and am now prompted to share with you the content of my last confession at the age of 15.
Fr. Burke was and still is a good priest, someone I had cause to call from the presbytery one night when I was 16, to intervene in a major domestic between mam and dad . . . when I knew things were really bad. When he arrived at the house my angry dad mid-tirade said, 'and what are you doing here?!!!' Fr. Burke said softly, "That's what I want to know, John, that's what I want to know" - situation diffused for the time being.
Anyway he knew me well from the youth club, the sound of my voice and my humour.  I was genuinely sorry - here's the confession verbatim . . .

P: Bless me father for I have sinned it's a few months since my last confession.
Fr.B: Yes, why have you come here this evening?
P:Well, I went to see Paul Simon at the Palace Theatre last night.
Fr. B: Yes
P: Well you know the binoculars on the back of the seat in front where you have to put 5 pence in the slot and the clip flips up and you can then take them out?
Fr. B: Yes
P: Well I did that and I had a good view of the concert from the back of the stalls.
Fr. B: What do you want to tell me?
P: Well, on the way home, I was on the top deck of the '106' and I put my hand in my pocket to get my 20 Embassy . . .that's another sin Father ..
Fr. B: Carry on . .
P: Well there they were.
Fr. B: The opera glasses
P: Yes.
Fr.B: You mean you stole them?
P: Yes I did , and it's been on my mind since.
Fr. B: OK, you know you did the wrong thing . . is there any way you can can get the binoculars back to the theatre without being found out?
P: Well . . . . er . . . no . . not unless I go and see
Danny La Rue to-morrow night.

I had seen a poster for him on the way out of the theatre and the rest of the confession was punctuated by Fr. Burke's stifled guffaws. He told me to put a pound! in the 'poor box' and I got one 'Hail Mary' and one 'Our Father' - flippin expensive as I had to wash 4 cars to get the money.
anyway it's late have a good session at the dentist
(Paddy - June 2009)

It is not a 'small role' it is a sparkling cameo as an 'argumentative woman', based on real life experience of Jennifer in action. Since seeing the script, Jennifer has been a) practising on a daily basis arguing for more lines (caterpillars view) or b) getting into character, flexing her acting muscles (Jennifer's view). Lesson to be learnt .... don't tell Jennifer anything until the last possible minute.
(Caterpillar, previously Grasshopper, Wales - June 2009)

Love the blog, very funny.
(Andy, USA - June 2009)

Super crap list is great. And if it makes you feel any better I clean my trash too.
(Geoff, USA/Hong Kong - June 2009)

Jennifer my dear...You are not alone...I too clean everything before I put it in the recycling bin - it's respectful - to the people who work in recycling who have to clean that crap off...at least that's what my mate Gav told me when he caught me throwing an un-swilled can of tuna away...I have never gone back...and the plus side is that you won't have a dirty bin lid!  This recycling marlarkey is quite interesting really if you think about life cycles in general and how stuff is naturally recycled...you know like the water cycle n stuff...mmmm it's now got me thinking about human recycling - re-incarnation if you will, but that's just boring...I've done the human thing...so alas...now...In my next life I'm coming back as a duck - I like water and wouldn't care bout rain, I could eat n swim all day...mmmm then again I don't really like soggy bread...what shall I be instead?
(Debs, Cardiff - June 2009)

Grasshopper is cutting your role! How do we complain? The notion of you on the big screen is just too good and how could anyone leave you on the editing floor metaphorically speaking of course? Does grasshopper know what he/she is doing?
(Nick, UK - June 2009)

Has your not writing on the blog since february 13th have any thing to do with it being a 'friday the 13th' ? Miss your stories.
(Anonymous - 9th April 2009)

What's happened to the blog? Is your life suddenly too dull for you to write about? Have you got nothing to say? Somehow neither seems a likely possibility!
(Anonymous - 9th April 2009)

Hey which Starbucks will you next be hanging out in so I can come see the show? Violet rays shooting out your head is quite mild for you. You cutting back with it being a recession and all?(Andrew, UK - 8th February 2009)

Hehe! If you got mumbled the same as me, then he wants to know what number your parking pass is. I asked three times before I understood ... quite wish I'd said ""how awful"" and walked off!!
(Gill, UK - 21st December 2008)

Wow! Who knew 60th birthday parties saw so much action. I know where I'm going this weekend.
(Geoff, UK - 11th December 2008)

Are you living on a parallel universe? Other people have ordinary lives you know, yours is not normal.
(Joanne, Sweden - 11th December 2008)

Is jennifer a real person - or is it angelina jloie+Laura Croft+gavin and stacey?
I think jennifer (multiple personalities) has caused the strife in Bangkok leading to civil unrest and coup and regime change. she seems v powerful.
Meanwhile hopefully she is enjoying the spirit of the blitz and expereincing many fat and thin men in her quest to find a husband.
(Anonymous, UK - 2nd December 2008) 

Stranded in Thailand. Could only happen to you. Are you sure you are not behind these demonstrations? If I remember right you have been accused of far worse national disasters and events.
Joking aside please take care JayJay. We worry about you and your insane escapades.
(Craig, Scotland - 2nd December 2008)

Doctor J, still up to your old tricks. Still crazy and finding trouble wherever you go. Did you make it back injury free this time? Any arrests/coups/assassinations? Must have been dull otherwise.
(Ian, UK - 16th November 2008)

Dear Jennifer,
Obviously the bad vibes have followed you for years now. One need only reflect back to some disturbing predictions about dress sizes from hysterical Orientals in Hong Kong markets. Regarding the pigeons and neighbours (not too sure who's giving you the most shit here), my advice is to adhere to the old African proverb: ""If the Foo shits, wear it"". Can understand perfectly that it's not just a readjustment to the weather upon returning from Africa. I found that it seeps right into your value system and exposes how hollow and preoccupied with the trivialities of life we in the West are. Life is brutally simple for most of the Zimbabweans I met, yet with that comes a clarity and acceptance that I lack in my own life of unfulfilled ambitions. Yes, inside my head, there is that script of a Christmas pageant on the Tiwi Islands performed by dispossessed refugees singing Boogie Woogie Messiah from Galilee I have in my head that I will write one day. That one day when the Australian Film Industry will sit up and take notice! Who the hell is Baz Luhrmann anyway? I can see it happening, if I only had the time, or more correctly made the time... Yes, I'll write it after work... if I can stay awake after cooking dinner, talking with the kids, wife... Your frustration has a resonance half way across the world.
(Brendan, Australia - 16th November 2008)

The wise ones are cool. Weird but cool...in an uncool way.
(JF, USA - 11th November 2008)

Witches, spells! Hartley why can you never lead a normal life?
(Daniel, Tanzania - 11th November 2008)

Loving the blog. Can't you 'mudder' the peacocks?
(Sarah, Argentina - 11th November 2008)

How's African Princess? We want more characters, I want to be in this DrJ!
(Jim, UK - 11th November 2008)

Dear Joseph, keep strong.
(Kudzi, Sweden - 11th November 2008)

Unless otherwise specified, all work, words, images and items on this site are Copyright Jennifer S Hartley 2008
As such, none of the contents of this site may be re-produced without the express permission of Jennifer S Hartley